Ever walked out of a totally normal conversation with someone feeling completely exhausted? Not dramatic. Just tired.
As though something had sapped all the energy right out of you.
You’re not imagining it. The people around you affect how you feel. Sometimes in ways that go deeper than a bad mood.
When Your Body Tells You Something’s Off
Maybe you never consciously notice the thought, ‘this relationship is stressing me out.’
Your body knows.
- You did not sleep well the night before meeting them
- Your shoulders are tensed up while talking on the phone with them
- You feel anxious for no apparent reason
People who exhaust your system leave it switched on.
The anxiety gets worse. The depression sits in because there is a feeling of disconnection. You feel disconnected because you are spending so much energy on everyone else.
The Hardest Part
Much easier when someone’s toxic, someone mean or manipulative that you can just avoid.
But what about your sister who always has something negative to say? Your partner who completely shuts down when you try to communicate with them?
Or your friend that only calls when they need something?
You love these people. That’s what makes it so hard.
You start constantly editing yourself. Apologizing for literally nothing. Feeling guilty about wanting things. The relationship requires you to be smaller, quieter, less.
That’s exhausting, and it shows up everywhere else in your life.
Read more: Balancing Mental Health With Life’s Demands: Work, Relationships & Self
What It Feels Like When It’s Different
Healthy relationships aren’t devoid of drama. People still disagree and mess up. But there’s something underneath all that which feels steady.
You can say something’s bothering you, and it doesn’t have to turn into a big deal. Boundaries don’t cause guilt trips. Your feelings matter, even if someone sees things differently. The effort goes both ways.
You feel like yourself around them. Maybe even more yourself.
When relationships feel like that, they actually help. When they don’t, you’re usually trying to recover from them.
What Helps
No huge dramatic exit or confrontation is needed. Small shifts change a lot.
Watch for the patterns. Who makes you feel light? Who makes you feel heavy? That tells you something.
Try setting one boundary. Just one. See what happens when protecting your own peace rather than keeping everyone comfortable.
Tell people what you need. Most people are not mind readers. Some want to help but do not know how.
If you can’t see a way out then talk to someone who can help you sort through it.
If You Need Help Figuring This Out
Sometimes you need space to actually talk about what’s happening. Not surface stuff. The real patterns that keep showing up.
This is exactly what Dr Chohan works on with her clients. She explores factors affecting your mental health, including relationships occupying space in your life.
There’s no attempt at instant fixes; just understanding what is happening and discovering something that truly works.
Book a session now to find out what has to change.
FAQs
How do I know if it’s the relationship or just me being sensitive?
If several people, independently of each other, tell you that you are too sensitive then maybe that’s something to think about.
But if there is one specific relationship in which this is a constant theme, pay attention to that. Trust what you’re noticing.
What if I can’t just leave the relationship?
You don’t always have to leave. Sometimes new boundaries change everything. Sometimes limiting contact helps. Therapy gives you options you might not see on your own.
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